To Be Positive

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ATTITUDE OF YOUR MIND

Walking with God to Manage Your Mood and Attitude

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To Be Positive

“All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.” – Proverbs 21:2

You may be telling yourself, “I just need to be a stronger person and I won’t be anxious, or depressed; God’s not answering my prayers – I’m still depressed/anxious; God understands me God understands me, I don’t need to work on changing; Oh, everybody thinks that, I’m not prejudice; He doesn’t expect me to be perfect; People just need to accept me the way I am; Everybody does/says that.”  God does know you – the negative event; the emotions (anxiety and depression), in your heart – no peace; your critical thinking; the critical way you talk; your immature defense(s), and ungodly attitude(s).  The apostle James addresses your comments:  “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue deceives himself, and his religion is worthless” – James 1:26. 

God loves you unconditionally means He will always love you despite your mood.  He also wants the best for you.  The best is to become a better disciple of Christ, by transforming to your new self; and having his peace by reducing your anxiety and depressive symptoms.  Your critical thoughts determine your symptoms, and your negative behavior.  Learning new thoughts will change both to the positive.  God’s desire is that the new self be more like Jesus – to be made new by the attitude of your mind.  As for the critical tongue, the apostle Matthew (12:36-37) writes that Jesus tells the Pharisees, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.  For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”  Is this enough spiritual knowledge to decide to work daily on changing your critical thoughts and statements, by reprogramming your brain – by the renewing of your mind? 

God Knows You Intimately

“What do you want me to do for you? Jesus asked him.” – Mark 10:51

When faced with difficult events/situations, most Christians have been known to say: “Lord help,” or “I need Jesus.”  Even though the request has been made, the next step reveals your thoughts, language, defense, and attitude.  Your responses are the battles of the mind.  God already knows how you will respond, “O Lord, you have searched me and know me” – Psalms 139:1.  If you think of God always knowing all about the negativity and your struggles with your mood, is this not a good reason to work hard to learn steps to change.  Acknowledging your negative response(s) is done with the help of the Holy Spirit; and the desire to change is prompted by the need to please God and have peace.  It is your chosen will to try and listen to the directive of the Holy Spirit.  I commend you for wanting to make changes that bring peace.  God will also honor this step towards His plan for you life. 

Your moods of depression and anxiety are the result of your thoughts. The challenge of recognizing your thoughts will be important for you to master your mood.  It is also important for you to recognize when you may need assistance – therapy; medication; or therapy and medication.  This decision of seeking therapy depends on how long you have been depressed/anxious and struggling to control this on your own.  When you have a hard time getting out of bed; withdrawing and not socializing; trouble concentrating; worry a lot (anxious); or just not enjoying life, I recommend therapy.  You may shrink back from the thought of taking medication; however, when debilitating depression keeps coming back, it has a very serious impact on the brain.  The neurons in the brain are not functioning properly and need the assistance of medication in their function and improve your mood.  

Your thought process, after a negative event/situation determines the development of negative thoughts that lead to depression and anxiety, negative language, attitude, and defense.  For example, after a negative event you decide your emotions are a sign of weakness, or too painful to feel.  Now when you see objects, persons, places, etc., that are similar to the negative event/situation, you have a prejudicial anxious defense and attitude towards all of them.  Some of you may think about a negative event/situation, as you are reading this article.  This is a natural process for the mind.  The example of how the negative event affects you is for your knowledge only.  For you, CCBT is not a process of thinking about a past negative event/situation.  If you become obsessed in thinking about the event/situation, or feel this is something you need to do, I highly recommend you seek assistance with a therapist.

Emotions Are From God

 “When Jesus saw her weeping. . ., he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” –  John 11:33

A habit of not wanting to feel your emotions is not a good thing.  The emotions of the heart are real and are to be accepted and not ignored.  Acknowledging God given emotions is mentally healthy.  Real men and women do have sorrow and they do cry.  People have many reasons for crying, that may not match yours.  Crying is not an automatic sign of weakness, or not trusting God; and really important for releasing emotions.  When you try to push back, or ignore your emotions, you have to justify your feelings and that’s when you resort to the negative thought patterns.  Jesus did not deny his emotions (“Jesus wept.” – John 11:35), and you are trying to emulate him.

            Learning How to Be Positive

Distortions are false/ungodly dysfunctional universal thoughts and automatic.  Dysfunctional universal means that they are used by individuals that have a negative way of thinking and speaking; and are not aware of these patterns.  Research shows that distortions are universal for people that are depressed and anxious; and also patterns of those that use food to control their emotions.  These negative patterns are noticed by positive people, and for the positive, the negativity is very draining emotionally and physically; they usually can’t be around negative individuals very long.  But, negative individuals are very comfortable around other negative people.  

There are 5 stages to developing negative responses; positive and negative examples are below:

An example of the positive:  You and your friend work at a company and have the same job and pay. They get a promotion and a pay raise.  You are very excited for them (godly attitude), because they completed their degree to get this promotion. The other emotion that you feel is sadness.  You were taught to acknowledge your emotions and describe them.  You decide the reason you feel sad is that you will not be able to work together side-by-side.  But, you think your friendship is solid and you will continue to have lunch together and go out (godly thoughts).  They invite you to the celebration.  You stop on the way to buy a gift, because you are so proud of your friend (godly attitude and thought).

An example of the negative:  Same scenario as above; except you are not happy for them (ungodly attitude). You are sad, but are uncomfortable with this feeling (ungodly attitude). The discomfort causes you to push it away, as you have always done. Like the toddler, your hurt becomes anger (McKay and Rogers, 2000).  To justify your anger, you think they believe they are now better than you, and too good to hangout (distortions).  They ask you to go with them to celebrate their promotion. You tell them you’re too busy and need to work late (ungodly attitude – lying).  From then on, every invitation to lunch, or to hang out is declined with an excuse (lying). They call you out on your excuses and ask if there is anything wrong. You reply, “Since your promotion, you’re different, and see me as someone with no ambition” (distortion with critical tongue).  You need to deny/not process the true feeling of sadness/hurt; and claim you are not angry, which lead to the ungodly attitudes of jealousy and envy.  The relationship ends and you blame your friend, which is an immature defense.  They are confused and hurt and wondering how you can come up with such negative thoughts about them.

An example of the negative:  Same scenario as above; except you are not happy for them (ungodly attitude). You are sad, and began to think, “Why can’t I get a promotion; they don’t think I’m good enough; I’m a loser; I’m so stupid.” These are all distortions.  You become anxious around your friend, because you don’t know why you are in a depressed mood.  They ask you to go with them to celebrate their promotion. You tell them you’re too busy and need to work late (lying – ungodly attitude).  You go home and sit the in the dark for hours (withdrawal – immature defense). From then on, every invitation to lunch, or to hang out is declined with an excuse (lying – ungodly attitude). They call you out on your excuses and ask if there is anything wrong.  You reply, “Since your promotion, you’re different, and see me as someone with no ambition” (distortion with critical tongue).  You need to deny/not process the true feeling of sadness/hurt; and claim you are not depressed, which lead to the ungodly attitudes of jealousy and envy.  The relationship ends and you blame your friend, which is an immature defense.  They are confused and hurt and wondering how you can come up with such negative thoughts about them.

Please continue the CCBT process by meditating daily on God’s word, with continual prayer; and daily practice of turning the negative into positive.  

Until Next Time – Give God the Glory,                        

Dr. Terri L. Thompson

Excerpts from book “Be Happy - Let God Renew the Attitude of Your Mind” by Dr. Terri L. Thompson © Copyright 2014 All Rights Reserved