Fear vs Peace

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ATTITUDE OF YOUR MIND

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Fear vs Peace

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity [fear], but of power and of love and of self-discipline.” – 2Timothy 1:7  

When an inanimate object is thrown at you, you put out your hands to block the item from hitting you.  This act of physical defense is an automatic behavior to protect yourself.  The mind will react against anything you believe is harmful, such as:

• a verbal assault by someone you care about, or don’t know

• a statement that reminds you of negative language said by a parent, guardian, or someone close

• someone whose physical appearance reminds you of a person that treated you badly

• a sound, a smell

• being in a certain place

All the above may direct the brain to produce an automatic reaction of defense, or attitude.  Psychological research has identified defenses to protect you as – immature and mature defense mechanisms.  Mature and immature defense mechanisms were learned as a child and continued to be used throughout adolescence and on into adulthood (Steiner, Araujo and Koopman, 2001).  The immature defenses tend to distort reality in accordance with expected outcomes, leading to less adaptive functioning (Steiner et.al 2001).  Your automatic defense may be the negative thought, language, an immature defensive response, ungodly attitude, or all four, which can cause anxiety and depression. 

What’s Your Predicament and Level of Fear?

“The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?” – Psalms 27:1

A defense to run from a scary reality is a good innate defense.  But a fear that is unwarranted and activated by a non-threatening situation, person, or event is not healthy – physically, or mentally.  An immature defense and ungodly attitude is activated, when you think you have been offended; and need to protect yourself, without using the whole armor of God (discussed in a later article).  For example, mentally healthy individuals make an effort to reach out to others to become friends. They take actions to cultivate the friendship, and know that there is a possibility of the friendship growing to a life long relationship; and also acknowledge that a relationship may just be a passing encounter – all without fear.  The use of use of negative thoughts, language, an immature defense and ungodly attitude will strain the very best of any encounter, or relationship and is based on fear – social anxiety.  The immature/ungodly way of protecting yourself causes conflict with family, friends, co-workers, or associates you might want to be a part of your life. 

The Mind’s Use of Attitude and Defense Mechanisms

“I will instruct you and teach you . . .” – Psalms 32:8

To become more like Jesus, you have to remove the ungodly thoughts, language, defenses and attitudes.  Removing these will reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms.  Your first reaction to reading the list of ungodly ways will be to mobilize your automatic way of protecting yourself and justify the reason you use it.  For others, it may be new knowledge – an aha moment of knowing that you need to work this out.   Either way, you are defending self instead of resting in God’s peace.  There is no justification for using ungodly responses.  Working on transformation pleases God immensely, and the Holy Spirit is telling you this is something He wants you to leave behind as the old self. 

This human way of adapting to fear/anxiety is an inherent way of responding.  To make it more interesting, I enjoy applying biblical references to these ungodly ways of responding.  Because we are all descendants of Adam, God’s word tells us stories of His imperfect children; to learn from our biblical ancestors – the error of their ways, or their positive characteristics.  Biblical examples of using mature and immature defenses, Godly and ungodly attitudes are in the next section.

Mature Defense and Godly Attitude

One of the mature defenses is idealization – it is available for use by children to attach themselves to certain qualities, emotions, and attitudes of someone else; hopefully a positive role model.  It’s especially expressed, during the modeling period, between eight and thirteen years of age. Adults will also use this defense by idealizing another adult.  People identify with a parent, teacher, musician, athletes, or others that have characteristics they admire. 

• The idealization of Jesus and the apostle Paul, with the modeling of their messages and positive thoughts are paramount for Christian growth. Their positive qualities are not exaggerated but true, which is why they are great models to idealize – Godly mature defense.

• Humility is one attitude that is idealized and admired by most Christians. The message from the apostle Paul is, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” – Philippians 2:3. If you struggle with humility, this is a characteristic of positive thoughts and interactions to work towards, because you idealize the ones with this trait – Godly attitudes.

Immature Defense and Ungodly Attitude

An example of an immature defense is acting out, and you will probably apply this defense to others, or yourself.  Most mothers recognize that their toddlers and very young children will cry, then hit others; before they learn to use their words, to express their feelings.  This immature defense of acting out behavior also pertains to adolescents and adults, due to unresolved hurtful events.  When adolescents and adults have not learned to communicate their emotions, they physically react.  This is seen in fighting; slapping others (assault); screaming/yelling at someone; slamming doors; hanging up the phone on someone (without saying goodbye); damaging property (yours, or others); and includes domestic violence – man against woman, or woman against man. 

• One biblical example of acting out is: Saul reacted to the people when they sang a song for David, “ . . . Saul has slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands” – 1Samuel 18:7. Saul became jealous of David, and spent years trying to kill him. Saul suffered from depression and anxiety and was definitely acting out – ungodly immature defense of wanting to kill; initiated by an ungodly attitude of jealousy.

• Anger: Mark's girlfriend breaks up with him, because he is unable to control his anger. He does not think he has anger issues and blames his girlfriend for every negative event in their relationship. His anger is the result of an unresolved negative event(s). Not acknowledging his inability to control his anger – ungodly attitude; and blaming others is an ungodly immature defense.

Putting on the New Attitude and Defense

“I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:2

To change the critical thoughts and voice, ungodly defense, and attitude to the positive, you must engage in the process that brings both into awareness; recognize the negative as false and the positive as truth; and use the PPP as a reprogramming of the brain.  The critical thought and voice are always false, because the thoughts are distortions, which are not true and produce the anxiety and depression.  Psychological research states that distortions are universal for individuals with anxiety and depression. 

The constant daily practice of the 3P’s will have you recognizing the negative thoughts,, language, ungodly attitude and immature defenses.  For example, an anxious and depressed client studying the distortions for a few months said, “Guys just want someone that wears a size 2, and will not want me.” After a few seconds, they said, “Oh, I can’t believe I said that.”  Recognizing the negative thought pattern, and statements is a great first step in training the brain to the positive.  (A list of the most common universal cognitive distortions is provided in the September article). 

PPP utilizes a few steps to train the brain, to think positive thoughts and learn new positive ways to respond reducing the negative symptoms.  If you can get into the habit of performing the first “P” (praying continually), and believe the negative as false and the positive as truth, then you can begin transforming to a new self.  In the words of Solomon:  “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” – Proverbs 17:9. 

Whatever you are dealing with, please open your mind and heart to let God in, to recognize your negative thoughts, language, immature defenses, and ungodly attitudes - to decrease your anxiety and depressionRemember no one can be like Christ completely, because Christ was a perfect human being on earth.  But the program of the brain can be scanned over many times, to recognize and delete the ungodly.  (The negative events can’t be completely erased, because the brain will usually remember; and is not the focus of your reprogramming).  Like your computer, the old files of the mind need to be scanned, with an extraction of old stuff and replaced with the new.

God Knows Your Thoughts  

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2Corinthians 10:5

How to Practice Removing the Critical Thoughts and Voice

Your wisdom to acknowledge and understand that your negative thoughts and statements are related to your anxiety and depression and the beginning of renewing your mind.  To take captive every thought, is an active practice of using the PPP’s – prayer, process, and practice.

• If you already know some of your negative thoughts you can begin on the 2nd P of processing. Acknowledging any of your negative statements and thoughts, and see them for what they are false is a great step.

• Thinking of the opposite of the negative – I’m worthless is negative and the positive is I am somebody - a child of God; I'm stupid to I’m smart; I can’t to yes, I can, etc. This practice will assist you in learning to communicate with self and others in a more positive way. It leads to changing the sub-conscious automatic negative thoughts to conscious positive ones. This reprocesses the mind to focus on positive words to be spoken by the tongue.

• If you want to move to the 3rd P of practicing change, you must practice the positive daily, which is reprocessing the brain.

Believe and Don’t Doubt You Can Change

“May the words of my mouth . . . be pleasing in your sight . . .” – Psalms 19:14

When you find the work hard, you have someone that can help you in the process.  All you have to do is call on Jesus to assist and the Holy Spirit will respond.  Calling means praying.  How often do you find yourself praying?  Do you call on God often, or only out of fear/anxiety?  Are you, “ . . . pray[ing] in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. . .” – Ephesians 6:18?  Praying on all occasions daily (1st P), will begin the transformation leading to peace in your heart and mind, with symptoms of anxiety and depression decreasing; and the hope of becoming a better disciple of Christ. 

Until Next Time – Give God the Glory, 

Dr. Terri L Thompson

Excerpts from book “Be Happy - Let God Renew the Attitude of Your Mind” by Dr. Terri L. Thompson

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